A Bad Food Choice

I made a bad choice today.  I didn't make my breakfast last night, I overslept, and had to be at work early for training.  Thank the Gods I had the forethought to put my lunch together last night.  That allowed me to make my coffee, get ready, and run out the door.  I resigned myself to the fact that in order to eat breakfast (skipping breakfast is not an option for me, totally separate from the fact that skipping meals isn't health.  Low blood sugar can and has caused seizures for me), I would have to stop at Dunkin Donuts.  I know, I know, I can hear you groaning already.  Hear me out.

I used to go to Dunkin Donuts several times each week, just for coffee and would eat there once in a week at most.  When I left waitressing and started my current job at a bank, I realized I would need coffee daily to function, but I couldn't afford Dunkin Donuts every day of every week, so I switched to making my coffee at home and only went to Dunkin once in a blue moon, like when the milk at home went bad and I NEEDED coffee or the rare occasion that I overslept and didn't have time to eat.  This devolved into only stopping there when I opened my branch at the ungodly hour of 7:45 am (can you tell I'm not a morning person), which of course devolved even further... to every single day that I worked, and even some days that I had off.  After a while, they knew my order and I felt terrible about myself.  Most people like this, but I admitted to myself that this meant I went there too often and I didn't like that.

I think I always knew how unhealthy and expensive this became, but I pushed it to the back of my mind.  When I started looking at my life to make healthy changes, I had to be honest with myself about my habits.  My Dunkin habit had to go.  I decided to only allow myself to go to there if I overslept and didn't make my breakfast the night before.  When I do go there, I decided to lay off the donuts and muffins.  I'm not a breakfast sandwich girl, so I decided to stick to bagels and go light on the cream cheese.  I know this is still not the best choice, but I figured it was the lesser of evils and I feel full afterward.

This morning, as previously mentioned, I overslept.  That meant it was a Dunkin morning.  I intended to get my cinnamon raisin bagel, but when I got there, everyone and their mother was there.  We got 2 feet of snow, a few days ago, so this was the first day that everyone in the city left their houses.  Apparently, they all needed to go to Dunkin at 7:15 am, when there's normally next to no one on the roads that early.  There was no time to wait for a bagel to toast by the time I got to the front of the line.  I resigned myself to donuts.  I bit into the first one and felt the sugar overload.  By the end of the second one, I was still hungry.  This set the tone for the rest of my day.

I entered them into my food diary on My Fitness Pal and felt my heart sink.  They made up a third of my calorie intake for the day and the nutritional stats were abysmal.  Worst of all I was still hungry and totally unsatisfied.  This led me to eat more at lunch and left me less calories and better nutrition to make up for, the rest of the day.  It was just a downward spiral.

At this point, donuts cannot be a regular meal.  They can't even be once in a while.  These are literally once in a blue moon treat.  Furthermore, I'm currently eating at Dunkin once or twice a week and will be phasing it out even more.  I'm going to start making my breakfast at night, before work so that I can keep making better choices

Introduction

If you've found your way here, then you probably know that my original blog was meant  to focus on both health and spirituality.  It certainly started like that and I meant to continue that way, but I let my health fall to the wayside.  Various aspects of my life were colliding and converging into a HUGE mess that ultimately led to me to not be mindful.  All at once, I found myself in the midst of a purification, removing the old and making room for the new.  I felt like my life had derailed and I was attempting to reassemble it.

I'm not big on New Year's Resolutions, but this year felt like the right time to get my shit together.  Something clicked in my head and I knew this was the time.  It wasn't so much about the new year, but that I felt like this was a good starting point.  So here I am now, attempting to become truly mindful.  I'm not always awesome at and I make some bad choices, but everyday I learn something new and I make better choices.  I'll never be on a strict diet.  I LOVE food.  Food is a 5 sense experience that I enjoy.  My parents always seemed to have odd feelings about food when I was growing up.  I can't quite pinpoint where they come from, except for the fact that my mother is a recovering bulimic who had a complicated relationship with food.  Me, on the other hand?  I don't have those problems.  I tend to have a more hedonistic view of food.  If it satisfies my senses, then I'm game.  I just love food.  Unfortunately, that is also not healthy and so I am trying to curb that and find balance.  What I really want, is to make a lifestyle change that I can enjoy and stick to permanently.

I will most likely write about food an diet changes and recipes for a while.  I was a waitress for most of my adult life and literally ran for 32 hours each week.  That was my cardio and I was often able to lose weight with very little effort.  After hurting my back a few years ago and not seeing my friends and family due to the work schedule, I changed my career.  Since starting a more sedentary job, I have found it difficult to get into a good exercise routine.  Eight years of my life was spent in a very active job and I'm still struggling to find a routine in my current lifestyle.

This blog is my attempt to hold myself accountable in my journey of health and wellness.